Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage...

I recently ran into Anand. I sure was delighted to see him after a long time. Well, he’s not really called Anand, just that the way he’s living his life reminds me of the spirited character portrayed by Rajesh Khanna in the movie by the same name. So, I choose to address him as Anand in this post.
Anand was a bright student and like all other kids his age, he liked ‘play’ more than ‘work’. But unlike many of us, whose aspirations have swung in different directions @ different stages of our lives, Anand, ever since he can remember (and I can), aspired to be the next “Missile Man”. Given the bright spark he was, I never saw any reason to believe why he wouldn’t achieve what he so desired.
But, I guess, it wasn’t meant to be (or so I thought, then!). I was in college and was shocked to the core when the news was delivered to me. Anand was diagnosed with brain tumor. I didn’t have the slightest inkling of the implications of an affliction like ‘Brain Tumor”. All I knew was that it takes away what each one of us values most – LIFE! Soon after my semester exams, I went home and the very day I reached Lucknow , I went to meet him. He wasn’t home. He was in Mumbai, undergoing chemotherapy sessions at the Tata Memorial Centre. If all went well, he was due to return home in September. I went back to college.
I returned home in November. I went to see Anand. He walked into the room, a mere shadow of his former self. Too frail to walk on his own, he took the support of the wall. He had developed a squint! He wore a cap, he had lost all his hair. I thought the cap was a masking piece. Tears welled up in my eyes, but more than that, there was an emotional storm that whirled within. My stomach began to churn. Words seemed to completely elude me. He likes chocolates, and like I always did, I had taken 2 bars of chocolates for him. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed my bag and was about to pull out the bars of chocolate, when he casually removed the cap he wore and placed it on the table. I pretended to ignore. He said, “Minti didi, bald is in! Right? I think the shine on my head, and inside too, can give even Raghu (of MTV Roadies fame) a run for his money!” I smiled and handed over the chocolates to him. He got the conversation rolling, but there was only one thought that constantly raced through my mind, “Why him?” Everything seemed to have changed dramatically! I was hearing what he kept saying all this while, never listening. And then he said, “You seemed to have changed quite a bit. You are so quiet today. Training for the ‘bride to be’ seems to be working after all”. And then he laughed. I joined. And we got talking. He had rejoined school after a year’s gap and the medication and the side effects of the treatment seemed to have taken a toll. He was finding it difficult to cope up with the academic curriculum. But he was more determined than ever to make up for lost time. I asked him to take it slow and give his health priority. But he said, “I have no time. Remember, I want to be the next Missile Man.” And then I realized – nothing had changed! The grit, the determination, the sparkle in his eyes, his dream – it was all there! How could I, in all my senses, be so blind?
We talked for hours together, and during the course of our conversation, he told me about his difficult journey during the last couple of years. And not once did he sound sad or overcome with grief! He looked at every challenge as just another battle that had to be won. As I was about to leave, he said, “Minti didi, so, you’re still crazy about Salman, huh? He’s still your hero!” I smiled at him. And said to myself, “No, he aint my hero any longer. You are… and for life.”

Numb!

Countless voices surround,
But I can’t hear a sound!
A thousand faces alit with glee,
But the eyes, they cannot see…
The faces smile, the hands…they touch,
But senses betray… feel nothing as such.
The mind wanders into a distant terrain,
The heart follows the head into the lonely lane.
Someone, please pull me out of this abyss…
And infuse life into me that’s gone amiss!

Then... and Now!

Some time ago, several news channels in the country flashed the so-called breaking news: “First case of Swine Flu confirmed in India”. The news went largely unnoticed as no one cared to attach much importance to it. However, this did not go down well with the H1N1 virus and it decided to stay put. It was determined to garner the attention it so deserved. And so, the news channels continued to flash the ever increasing numbers of the piteous victims.

At college, the director was flooded with calls from anxious parents. What was the college doing? Were the students safe? And it wasn’t long before the students caught the fever too (not literally though!). A meeting with the concerned college authority was convened and the students requested for the premises to be shut down. Of course, it was met with refusal. The students’ concern was genuine and even before we knew it, we were wearing “masks”. They seemed to be our sole saviors. No one dared to venture out into the city, lest they would unknowingly befriend and play eventual hosts to the dreaded enemy! The mavericks, who did dare to do the unthinkable, on their return to the campus, were looked at suspiciously. Even a gentle sneeze raised a storm! The fever was catching up! The state govt. decided to come to the rescue of the hapless students. College was declared closed for a week which was further extended by a week.

A month later, students have returned to the campus (sans all the paraphernalia – the masks, sanitisers etc). The news channels still continue to flash the ever increasing numbers of the ill fated. But surprisingly, the picture on the campus has changed remarkably! The sneezing and sick students do not as much as attract a second look. It’s time to write an obituary for our ‘once upon a time’ sole saviors – the masks! If you confine yourself to boundaries of the campus, you are a bore!

I wonder with amazement at the speed at which the picture has changed! From “Mujhe bhi hai kya?” to “Mujhe nahi hoga”. My only concern – ‘How will H1N1 react to this? Will it just walk away to capture another terrain or will it strike back with a lot more might?’

All's Not Lost Yet!

The last couple of days have been a complete nightmare. First I lose my favorite pair of jeans, only for a day though, as it mysteriously finds its way back into my room. But before I could really begin to celebrate, my cell phone goes missing! Well that was my fault though I guess. I went shopping for my Dad and when I found something really nice for him on one of the shelves, the excitement kind of led to a swap – the cell phone goes onto the rack and the kurta into my bag. Its only when I get home, I realize, I don’t have my cell phone. And though I did rush back to the shop, hoping for the impossible, the effort’s all but rewarding. So I come back to my room and start packing as I had to leave for home the next afternoon, only to realize that the worst is far from over. I couldn’t find my digi cam, my first buy from my first salary, and a gift to my mom. I searched in every possible corner but to no avail. Haven’t been able to sleep since then! It’s going to be almost 48 hours now! Wait, there’s more to come. On my way to the station, the cab breaks down. The driver tried to repair it but I somehow knew what was coming. Called for another cab, and reached the station just in time. For once, I was glad that the Indian Railways is more often than not, behind schedule! I am sure I’ll have a lot more to share very soon and continue this article! A lot more additions to what’s gone missing! Coz as they say “All’s not lost yet” and I still have many more things that can be taken care of!