Mum's the Word :)

I must have sent innumerable thank you cards and messages to countless people I’ve known, sometimes even to people I’ve barely and rarely known! Until, one of these days, it struck me, that there is someone to whom a “thank you” note has been long overdue! Someone whom I’ve always loved a lot (expressed so on many a occasions too), someone who has always put me before herself, someone who has been my support system all along and yet someone whom I’ve taken for granted a lot of times, someone who has had to bear the wrath of one of my terrible mood swings (for which she’s never been responsible!), someone I call Ma, Mom, Mummy – my bestest friend!! A thank you note to Mom?? I had to think of something better! Maybe a holiday in Goa! And that’s how Go Goa finally got going!

The whirlwind water sports, the beachside gupshup, the temple tour, the pristine churches were the order of the day. It was the beach and the sea that had us really excited! We spent the entire day at the beach - enjoyed parasailing, jet skiing, the “bumpy bumper” ride and then, just the sea waters… and yet at the end of the day, felt that we could come back to the shore each day for the rest of our lives! The rendezvous with the seemingly endless stretch of water was a treat! The surprise though was the innumerable temples our guide took us to, across Goa. Temples in Goa – not something I had the faintest idea about! And how can I forget the Dona Paula beach! Mummy had made it very clear at the start of the trip that she wouldn’t return without a visit to the beach where the famous “Ek Duje ke Liye” was shot. She even spotted the rock from which the actress jumped off to her death in the movie. Wo! She sure acted like a teenager that time. And I was all smiles! :)

And just like all good things come to an end, so did this. I had the time of my life, and I am hoping so did ma. Love you mom! Life wouldn’t have been what it is without you, and I wouldn’t have been what I am, without you!

The Sunset...

         The waves rushed excitedly towards her. They kissed her feet, tickled her. She smiled, then laughed. Then turned, and walked away. The waves followed her for some distance. But she didn’t care. The waves beat a lowly retreat. The sea pulled them back to where they belonged. She returned to the shore the next day. She set the pulse of the waves racing again. They returned to her. She smiled, then laughed. Then turned and walked away. The waves tried, in all desperation, to reach out to her. But she was colder than she seemed. She didn’t care. The vast sea drew in the waves and pushed them to a distant shore.

         She returned to the shore. The waves were conspicuous by their absence. The sea withdrew. She stood there cold and numb. A lonely tear rolled down her cheek. She smiled, forced a laugh. And then, she turned and walked away. None to follow her. None to reach out to her. She kept walking, oblivious of where the path led her. She returned to the shore, each day, thereafter. To undo what she did. She couldn’t. She stood there, long and cold. As the evening drew closer, she could see the sun setting down on her…

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage...

I recently ran into Anand. I sure was delighted to see him after a long time. Well, he’s not really called Anand, just that the way he’s living his life reminds me of the spirited character portrayed by Rajesh Khanna in the movie by the same name. So, I choose to address him as Anand in this post.
Anand was a bright student and like all other kids his age, he liked ‘play’ more than ‘work’. But unlike many of us, whose aspirations have swung in different directions @ different stages of our lives, Anand, ever since he can remember (and I can), aspired to be the next “Missile Man”. Given the bright spark he was, I never saw any reason to believe why he wouldn’t achieve what he so desired.
But, I guess, it wasn’t meant to be (or so I thought, then!). I was in college and was shocked to the core when the news was delivered to me. Anand was diagnosed with brain tumor. I didn’t have the slightest inkling of the implications of an affliction like ‘Brain Tumor”. All I knew was that it takes away what each one of us values most – LIFE! Soon after my semester exams, I went home and the very day I reached Lucknow , I went to meet him. He wasn’t home. He was in Mumbai, undergoing chemotherapy sessions at the Tata Memorial Centre. If all went well, he was due to return home in September. I went back to college.
I returned home in November. I went to see Anand. He walked into the room, a mere shadow of his former self. Too frail to walk on his own, he took the support of the wall. He had developed a squint! He wore a cap, he had lost all his hair. I thought the cap was a masking piece. Tears welled up in my eyes, but more than that, there was an emotional storm that whirled within. My stomach began to churn. Words seemed to completely elude me. He likes chocolates, and like I always did, I had taken 2 bars of chocolates for him. Not knowing what to do, I grabbed my bag and was about to pull out the bars of chocolate, when he casually removed the cap he wore and placed it on the table. I pretended to ignore. He said, “Minti didi, bald is in! Right? I think the shine on my head, and inside too, can give even Raghu (of MTV Roadies fame) a run for his money!” I smiled and handed over the chocolates to him. He got the conversation rolling, but there was only one thought that constantly raced through my mind, “Why him?” Everything seemed to have changed dramatically! I was hearing what he kept saying all this while, never listening. And then he said, “You seemed to have changed quite a bit. You are so quiet today. Training for the ‘bride to be’ seems to be working after all”. And then he laughed. I joined. And we got talking. He had rejoined school after a year’s gap and the medication and the side effects of the treatment seemed to have taken a toll. He was finding it difficult to cope up with the academic curriculum. But he was more determined than ever to make up for lost time. I asked him to take it slow and give his health priority. But he said, “I have no time. Remember, I want to be the next Missile Man.” And then I realized – nothing had changed! The grit, the determination, the sparkle in his eyes, his dream – it was all there! How could I, in all my senses, be so blind?
We talked for hours together, and during the course of our conversation, he told me about his difficult journey during the last couple of years. And not once did he sound sad or overcome with grief! He looked at every challenge as just another battle that had to be won. As I was about to leave, he said, “Minti didi, so, you’re still crazy about Salman, huh? He’s still your hero!” I smiled at him. And said to myself, “No, he aint my hero any longer. You are… and for life.”

Numb!

Countless voices surround,
But I can’t hear a sound!
A thousand faces alit with glee,
But the eyes, they cannot see…
The faces smile, the hands…they touch,
But senses betray… feel nothing as such.
The mind wanders into a distant terrain,
The heart follows the head into the lonely lane.
Someone, please pull me out of this abyss…
And infuse life into me that’s gone amiss!